my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
