Where is the hickey?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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