What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
