Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize