dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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