Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
