so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
