I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
