wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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