I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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