i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize