On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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