You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
