Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
