Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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