i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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