I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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