I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
