I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
