Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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