Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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