she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
