If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
