Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
