Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
