i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
