I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
