You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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