Small penises have feelings too.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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