wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
