I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
