He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
