would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
vagina is talking i cant
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
