just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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