I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
