YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
