i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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