"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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