her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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