I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize