I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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