Pappa wants mamma naked
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
