I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Randomize
