oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
