My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
