Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
