i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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