you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
