Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
