we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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