She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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