I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
