...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
My penis needs a shock collar
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
