there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
