Already got asked if we're dating
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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