Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
