this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize