i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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