you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
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She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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