Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
