Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
