I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
