Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(425): View more from Washington

i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....

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(334): View more from Alabama

just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day

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(302): View more from Delaware

I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night

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(765): View more from Indiana

He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.

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(941): View more from Florida

Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?

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(516): View more from New York

Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"

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(336): View more from North Carolina

We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.

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(618): View more from Illinois

God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.

(1-618): View more from Illinois

I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.

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