His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
